Doctor WHAT. THE. HELL?!?

So, Saturday was the season finale of Doctor Who. In an episode titled "The Name of the Doctor" - which worried fans because not knowing his name is a big thing over the 50 years of the series - we were promised answers to questions that had been raised over the past season and some, including "Why doesn't Clara remember that she was a Dalek and a nanny?" and "Why does she keep using the same phrases over and over?"

Well, without spoiling anything, all of those answers, as well as a few things that were mentioned in previous seasons, were wrapped up neatly in a package that made sense and didn't really require any universe-resetting.

But then, at the very end, after all of that, we got...

[BIGGEST SPOILER WARNING FOR THIS SHOW EVER]
[I swear I'm not exaggerating. I don't think anything so unexpected has ever happened in the reboot. Or in a lot of other canons. You have been warned!]

Off-Topic: Stats Part 2!

This week in "what search terms lead people to my blog" the results are:

My DVR: Cable & Foreign Shows

OK, so in this case, "DVR" may be a bit flexible, if the foreign shows aren't being imported sufficiently quickly. I'm also not quite up on what day these are on, so they'll just be listed by network:

Doctor Who (BBC America)
Oh, that classic BBC show. I've made many friends over it, and converted many more friends, and now you can go to Target and see people wearing Doctor Who t-shirts. And this year is the 50th anniversary! 

The Hour (BBC America)
It's like Mad Men meets The Newsroom, about a young woman who's made a producer of a new BBC news program in the 1950's. Plus, you get to laugh at Ben Wishaw's character (pre-Skyfall) constantly referring to the female lead as "Moneypenny." 

Mythbusters (Discovery)
If you need to know why I DVR this, you probably not only haven't seen it before, you probably don't even know what it's about.

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic (Hub)
Yep, I watch it. But, for the record, it's really cute, and has super awesome lessons that even I sometimes need to hear repeated. 

Project Runway (Lifetime)
I was introduced to this my first week after moving into the dorms freshman year of college, during its 3rd season. I've been sewing for ages, and I love pretty dresses, so I've kept watching! 

Teen Wolf (MTV)
It's my new addiction! And I blog extensively about this one, if you can't tell ;-)

Continuum (Syfy)
As an earlier post mentioned, I've only just started watching this, so I can't really say a lot one way or another. 

Warehouse 13 (Syfy)
I started watching it because I loved the premise - when I watched Raiders of the Lost Ark, I always spent so much time wondering what else was filling up that warehouse, and thought the idea was so cool - and stayed for the characters, hilarious references to history and literature, and the heartbreak and emotional drama that the writers put us all through. 

Rizzoli & Isles (TNT)
My very favorite detective/forensics show ever, not the least because it features some really awesome female characters. Yay! Also, they're basically me and my roommate: I'm the blond socially awkward Irish girl, and she's the brunette part Italian Boston native.

Ancient Aliens: TIME TRAVEL TIME! And NAZIS!

Half of me just wants to make this entire post a link to Doctor Who on Netflix.

Alright, now that I've got that out of my way....

In the first 30 seconds you mentioned Hitler. Please tell me this isn't going to be about Hitler. Please.

"Could Einstein have accidentally helped the Nazis build a time machine?"Well, I guess it is going to feature Hitler....

I guess this week people watched "Let's Kill Hitler" and the Indiana Jones movies before producing this?

They're talking about Nazis potentially doing stuff in secret as if it's a question. Third Reich scientists carried out clandestine experiments on everything. Even - no, especially - implausible metaphysical type things. Are you seriously failing that badly at history that's only 80 years old?  Oh, and "Super secret Nazi technology?" Thank you for those precise academic terms.

For what is probably the first time, and quite possibly the last, in this show's lifespan, it argues that an ostensible spaceship crash is actually not a spaceship crash. Because it's a Nazi time machine crash.

"...rituals of stargazing, believed to enable time travel." Well, if you take the Wilfred Mott approach, I guess stargazing maybe can help time travel?

Sirius is apparently where these aliens came from, because why else would people in multiple, separate ancient cultures be fascinated by the brightest star in the sky?

Nope, that actually doesn't look like a representation of a spiral galaxy. That is actually a single spiral, and that is a series of concentric circles. *facepalm*

Inaccurate visual of the day: A discussion of neutron spins accompanied by a clip of people in a lab lit solely by green light, pouring something that looks like liquid nitrogen into something else.

Oh, they actually used the word "Stargate". I HAVE WON ANCIENT ALIEN BINGO!

No, they're mentioning the LHC now... even better.

And they just used the word "god particle."

Oooh, and they're talking about aliens like the "Roswell" aliens. And how they look like how some people think humans might look in the future. Once again, some kind of wibbly wobbly timey wimey logic they're using here!

Ancient Aliens: I'm Literally Shouting at the TV Right Now

Oh god. Why do I do this. WHYYYYY.

Right. To motivate myself to pick up a real science textbook.

So far we've got:
The author of Chariots of the Gods - which, as I understand from my archaeology book, was THE book of ridiculous archaeological psuedoscience that was held up as an epitome of everything psuedoscientific - was talking about something. Apparently, the fact that on the equinox, the edge of a shadow from a temple falls on another temple. Because geometry is too hard for humans to have invented on their own. Where does this guy think calculus came from? Does he even know what calculus is?

Someone saying that fire was of mystical significance to ancient cultures that had rituals involving fire, not because fire was, say, necessary to cooking food and surviving the cold, but because fire looked like spaceship exhaust.

Then someone said that the rituals associated with kings wear crowns coming from how aliens might look if their heads were backlit by something, because I guess human heads can't be backlit?

Think that was the flimsiest logic you've ever heard? Well, here's one even better: The proof that a certain ritual by an indigenous tribe in Mesoamerica was inspired by extraterrestrial visitors is that - take a moment to put down and swallow whatever you're eating or drinking, your keyboard will thank me - the outfit worn by the "medicine man" is almost the exact same shape as 20th-century astronaut suits!

[cue some kind of wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff here]

Oh, hey, it's the "TARDIS rock art". Although I'd think it's more credible if they actually said out-and-out that it means the Doctor visited them.

"Star beings"? What? Is "extraterrestrial" not mysterious sounding enough any more? Since I'm going on a Doctor Who tangent, is a Star Whale a kind of Star Being?

"Maybe quantum entanglement is already occurring" *cue animation of Aurora Borealis*

Oh. My. Flying. Spaghetti. Monster. They're trying to sell DVD's of this? Does this imply that people actually buy DVD's of this?!? Why would you do that? (I will not take "but drinking games" as an answer because that's what Netflix is for)

Wait, this is almost literally Stargate. They're even talking about the importance of Abydos! I think I would buy the DVD if it actually was a Stargate/Doctor Who crossover.

Yeah, and we're done. Or at least my brain is breaking.